Life can feel crazy at times, can't it? For me, pre-injury-wise, life would periodically feel crazy; that was usually out of my own choosing. Post-injury-wise, life has often felt crazy. Some things I just cannot do the same, at this point in time. I am slower mentally, in decision making, and physically.
There are some things that take me longer to comprehend and understand. There are some things I am just not getting at this point in my recovery.
I don't say those things for people to feel sorry for me, but because they're reality. I don't say them because there has not been incredible healing and progress: because THERE HAS BEEN those things.
God has been very gracious to me. The capacity in which I am able to function is miraculous. The reality though is that recovery continues and it can be discouraging and difficult. It may not look difficult to others, as many people face some of the same sort of challenges i do and move forward with them.
I am seeing now that the deficits that remain slow me down a bit and make some things, that seem to me should be much easier, more difficult.
The recovery process is a journey. I am grateful to be on this journey. And I am grateful I do not walk this journey alone: my Faith in God, my Family, and my Friends keep walking with me.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
3 Years and Counting
June 18 of this year marked the 3 year anniversary of when my friend Kathy and I were hit by a car whose driver was under the influence of alcohol. Our lives were significantly impacted, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually -- in a number of ways. My life has not been the same since.
I am grateful to God for the healing, recovery, and the hope He has given me throughout this time. I really was not expected to survive and if I did, the question remained in regards to what my condition would be like.
My life has made a miraculous recovery! I am doing well physically, though I still have some challenges, aches, and pains. Mentally I am doing well, though there are some behavioral challenges that I need to focus on and work through. My memory and problem solving have gotten a lot better, though they can have their hiccups. Stamina-wise I have gotten better, but that can be a challenge too. I still need to build rest into my schedule. Work-wise I do not have a job, but I am working on some writing that I am doing, seeking to tell the story of this journey I have been on.
On the 18th my friend Kathy and I, as well as a number of other friends on bicycles and on foot, joined us on El Dorado Hills Blvd along the site where Kathy and I were hit. Also, the paramedics/firefighters who helped us, were there.
On my new bicycle, and for my first time since the crash in 2008, we rode the route along EDH Blvd. It was my first time to ride a bike along this route since I have been hit. It felt good to be on the bike again and it felt good to be able to ride the EDH Blvd. hill that I needed to ride.
It was an incredible time. It far exceeded the expectations I had for the ride.
This site is no longer just a crash site, but it is now a celebration site! We had an incredible celebration of the hope, healing, and recovery that has and is taking place.
What lies ahead in the "...and counting"? I don't know, but I know that God does know. I am in good hands.
I am grateful to God for the healing, recovery, and the hope He has given me throughout this time. I really was not expected to survive and if I did, the question remained in regards to what my condition would be like.
My life has made a miraculous recovery! I am doing well physically, though I still have some challenges, aches, and pains. Mentally I am doing well, though there are some behavioral challenges that I need to focus on and work through. My memory and problem solving have gotten a lot better, though they can have their hiccups. Stamina-wise I have gotten better, but that can be a challenge too. I still need to build rest into my schedule. Work-wise I do not have a job, but I am working on some writing that I am doing, seeking to tell the story of this journey I have been on.
On the 18th my friend Kathy and I, as well as a number of other friends on bicycles and on foot, joined us on El Dorado Hills Blvd along the site where Kathy and I were hit. Also, the paramedics/firefighters who helped us, were there.
On my new bicycle, and for my first time since the crash in 2008, we rode the route along EDH Blvd. It was my first time to ride a bike along this route since I have been hit. It felt good to be on the bike again and it felt good to be able to ride the EDH Blvd. hill that I needed to ride.
It was an incredible time. It far exceeded the expectations I had for the ride.
This site is no longer just a crash site, but it is now a celebration site! We had an incredible celebration of the hope, healing, and recovery that has and is taking place.
What lies ahead in the "...and counting"? I don't know, but I know that God does know. I am in good hands.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A Community of Brothers
One of the important things in my schedule is to meet with a support group of people who have sustained a TBI. We meet every two weeks. Our group has changed a bit since I have begun attending. Currently there are four of us, besides our neuro-psychologist, who meets with us. I am the only woman with three guys (four guys counting our psychologist.) Though sometimes Lynda, our physical therapist, leads our time. She does a great job too.
I am in good community.
We all have different backgrounds. We each have sustained our injuries in different ways, though one man was also hit by a car while riding his bicycle.
Each of us has sustained horrendous injuries; we each were in a coma for some extent of time; we've been having to learn to adapt and adjust to our new lives; we're all happy to be alive -- it is miraculous that each of us is alive.
I enjoy these men and find them a great encouragement to me. We are all a great encouragement to one another. We can relate to what one another struggles with, as well as the areas that we have been able to celebrate in our lives. Their community, their friendship, is important to me.
I am in good community.
We all have different backgrounds. We each have sustained our injuries in different ways, though one man was also hit by a car while riding his bicycle.
Each of us has sustained horrendous injuries; we each were in a coma for some extent of time; we've been having to learn to adapt and adjust to our new lives; we're all happy to be alive -- it is miraculous that each of us is alive.
I enjoy these men and find them a great encouragement to me. We are all a great encouragement to one another. We can relate to what one another struggles with, as well as the areas that we have been able to celebrate in our lives. Their community, their friendship, is important to me.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A Celebration Site, Not Crash Site
Over the past couple of years, there has been incredible progress on the bicycling front for me. Just over a year ago I rode on a tandem bike with my physical therapist Tom in a 65 mile ride. It was incredible.
Tom was wise in getting me on a tandem bike to relearn what I needed to relearn about cycling. It built confidence, trust, and the feel to be on a bike again. i have also ridden on a bike solo, but not too much. It was great to be on a bike again.
Recently for my birthday, my sister and brother-in-law bought me a new bike. I can't wait to get out on it. One of the first goals for my new bike is to ride on El Dorado Hills Blvd. along the path where I was hit. That is the last time I rode on EDH Blvd. I am looking forward to transforming that route.
For me, the site will now be a celebration site: celebrating the healing, recovery, and hope that God has given me.
Want to join us (Kathy and a few other friends will be joining us.)
Here is the info:
DATE: Saturday, June 18 (the anniversary of the crash);
TIME: 11:30 am
LOCATION: Meet at the intersection of EDH Blvd and Serrano Pkwy.
LENGTH: only a mile up an incline.
WHAT ELSE: We will celebrate a toast at the painted rocks on EDH Blvd., then whoever is interested will gather for lunch (Buy your own lunch) at Bistro 33.
Join us if you can. I am planning on being there rain or shine, but hopefully it will be sunny.
Thanks to all who have been a part of my recovery and helping to make this ride possible, Kathi
Tom was wise in getting me on a tandem bike to relearn what I needed to relearn about cycling. It built confidence, trust, and the feel to be on a bike again. i have also ridden on a bike solo, but not too much. It was great to be on a bike again.
Recently for my birthday, my sister and brother-in-law bought me a new bike. I can't wait to get out on it. One of the first goals for my new bike is to ride on El Dorado Hills Blvd. along the path where I was hit. That is the last time I rode on EDH Blvd. I am looking forward to transforming that route.
For me, the site will now be a celebration site: celebrating the healing, recovery, and hope that God has given me.
Want to join us (Kathy and a few other friends will be joining us.)
Here is the info:
DATE: Saturday, June 18 (the anniversary of the crash);
TIME: 11:30 am
LOCATION: Meet at the intersection of EDH Blvd and Serrano Pkwy.
LENGTH: only a mile up an incline.
WHAT ELSE: We will celebrate a toast at the painted rocks on EDH Blvd., then whoever is interested will gather for lunch (Buy your own lunch) at Bistro 33.
Join us if you can. I am planning on being there rain or shine, but hopefully it will be sunny.
Thanks to all who have been a part of my recovery and helping to make this ride possible, Kathi
3 Years and Counting
It is hard to believe that on June 18 will be the 3 year anniversary when a friend and I were hit by a car driven by a drunk driver. Both of our lives have been impacted significantly, yet we continue on.
My brain injury still is influencing my life. I can struggle with my memory, retaining new information, and get tired fairly easily. Physically, my leg still has it's challenges and my arm and shoulder can still bother me a bit.
Though my life has been turned upside down in many ways, I am very grateful for the healing, recovery, the opportunities, the provision, and so much else that God has provided. He has loved me, cared for me, provided for me, extended His grace, mercy and forgiveness toward me. He has directed my next steps. He has walked with me each step of the way.
These 3 years seem to have gone fairly quickly. I do have hope as I move into the future, because of the way God has been there with me and for me these past three years. There have been other times in my life when I walked through some incredible times and God was with me then too. When we trust Him for certain things, then we can trust Him for the next things.
I am not sure what the "and counting" days/years will hold, but I have never known that in the past. But as I have experienced God being God, I know He will be with me wherever that is and whatever He has us doing.
My brain injury still is influencing my life. I can struggle with my memory, retaining new information, and get tired fairly easily. Physically, my leg still has it's challenges and my arm and shoulder can still bother me a bit.
Though my life has been turned upside down in many ways, I am very grateful for the healing, recovery, the opportunities, the provision, and so much else that God has provided. He has loved me, cared for me, provided for me, extended His grace, mercy and forgiveness toward me. He has directed my next steps. He has walked with me each step of the way.
These 3 years seem to have gone fairly quickly. I do have hope as I move into the future, because of the way God has been there with me and for me these past three years. There have been other times in my life when I walked through some incredible times and God was with me then too. When we trust Him for certain things, then we can trust Him for the next things.
I am not sure what the "and counting" days/years will hold, but I have never known that in the past. But as I have experienced God being God, I know He will be with me wherever that is and whatever He has us doing.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Words That Hurt, Words That Heal
I am grateful for the recovery and healing that has been a part of my life these past three years. Physically I still wrestle with some aches and pains. My balance has gotten extremely better. Problem-solving has improved a lot too. Memory-wise I still have some short term challenges. Loud noises don't bother my ears as much. I still can get overwhelmed and frustrated at times. When I am with quite a few people, and there are multiple conversations going on, that challenges me and wears me out.
Recently I was talking to a dear friend, who I had asked to share with me about areas she saw that I still needed to be aware of and focus on.
My intention was to listen and take her words to heart. Unfortunately that is not what happened. She began sharing some things I was not aware of and I responded with anger. I was mad and upset. I yelled at my friend and swore at her. I was totally an idiot and out of place.
Here she was given the permission to share with me, but I reacted totally inappropriately. I broke her trust and her friendship. I apologized and she accepted my apology, but I still hurt my friend. I think that is the hardest part of what I have to live with.
My initial feelings were that I wasn't doing as well as I thought. That is wrong, because God has brought me a long way, but He also showed me that day of areas in my life that need continued healing and transformation.
My friend's words hurt, but they were truth. I am thankful for what she shared with me, as it has enabled me to be aware of things i need to be aware of. Also, it enables me to adapt and adjust in these areas. Change takes focusing on areas of our lives and begin to make the necessary adjustments.
It also takes accountability. I have asked a couple of close friends to help me in these areas. I have also shared it with my counselor, so that she can help me work through these too.
Am I doing well? Yes I am. I also know that continued transformation is necessary and is happening. Some of the things we have to work on, aren't necessarily the areas we personally see. But God places people in our lives, like my friend, who share the hard things that help lead to continued healing, recovery, and transformation.
Thank you my friend, I love and appreciate you!
Recently I was talking to a dear friend, who I had asked to share with me about areas she saw that I still needed to be aware of and focus on.
My intention was to listen and take her words to heart. Unfortunately that is not what happened. She began sharing some things I was not aware of and I responded with anger. I was mad and upset. I yelled at my friend and swore at her. I was totally an idiot and out of place.
Here she was given the permission to share with me, but I reacted totally inappropriately. I broke her trust and her friendship. I apologized and she accepted my apology, but I still hurt my friend. I think that is the hardest part of what I have to live with.
My initial feelings were that I wasn't doing as well as I thought. That is wrong, because God has brought me a long way, but He also showed me that day of areas in my life that need continued healing and transformation.
My friend's words hurt, but they were truth. I am thankful for what she shared with me, as it has enabled me to be aware of things i need to be aware of. Also, it enables me to adapt and adjust in these areas. Change takes focusing on areas of our lives and begin to make the necessary adjustments.
It also takes accountability. I have asked a couple of close friends to help me in these areas. I have also shared it with my counselor, so that she can help me work through these too.
Am I doing well? Yes I am. I also know that continued transformation is necessary and is happening. Some of the things we have to work on, aren't necessarily the areas we personally see. But God places people in our lives, like my friend, who share the hard things that help lead to continued healing, recovery, and transformation.
Thank you my friend, I love and appreciate you!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Wonderful Reminders
The brain injury I sustained impacted my ability to remember some things. My memory has healed remarkably, but I still have challenges with it...that too could be because I turned 50 last year. We all struggle with our memory at one time or another, don't we.
I have been using tools and strategies to help me remember certain things. It's funny, because I realize now that for my entire life, without realizing it, I have used "tools" to help me remember. I'm not necessarily doing anything new, but I realize I need these things to help me remember: wonderful reminders.
As a follower of Jesus, I am thankful for the reminders that I get to participate in that help me to remember Jesus and his death and resurrection on my behalf.
Each month, as a church, we celebrate communion. We focus on the broken body and shed blood of Jesus. Jesus did that for me and for you, in order that we can have a relationship with God. Sometimes life is busy and hectic, distractions come from here and there, and I allow the Truth of what Jesus did be put away. Then the first weekend of the month, I get to refocus things. It is great for the perspective. A wonderful reminder.
Easter is this weekend and it is a tremendous opportunity to reflect on, meditate upon, focus, and remember the horrific act that Jesus chose to go through, so that all of humanity can enter into a relationship with God. His death, resurrection, and ascension to heaven allow our sins to be forgiven and to enter into an incredible relationship with God.
An Incredibly Wonderful Reminder. HAPPY EASTER!
I have been using tools and strategies to help me remember certain things. It's funny, because I realize now that for my entire life, without realizing it, I have used "tools" to help me remember. I'm not necessarily doing anything new, but I realize I need these things to help me remember: wonderful reminders.
As a follower of Jesus, I am thankful for the reminders that I get to participate in that help me to remember Jesus and his death and resurrection on my behalf.
Each month, as a church, we celebrate communion. We focus on the broken body and shed blood of Jesus. Jesus did that for me and for you, in order that we can have a relationship with God. Sometimes life is busy and hectic, distractions come from here and there, and I allow the Truth of what Jesus did be put away. Then the first weekend of the month, I get to refocus things. It is great for the perspective. A wonderful reminder.
Easter is this weekend and it is a tremendous opportunity to reflect on, meditate upon, focus, and remember the horrific act that Jesus chose to go through, so that all of humanity can enter into a relationship with God. His death, resurrection, and ascension to heaven allow our sins to be forgiven and to enter into an incredible relationship with God.
An Incredibly Wonderful Reminder. HAPPY EASTER!
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