Saturday, October 17, 2009

Trust Part II

Last week I blogged about how my first attempt at a bike ride in over a year, as well as it being a tandem bike I hadn't been on before, taught me a lot about trust. This week I trusted Tom again as he took me out on a tandem bike again.

The second ride was as fun as the first, but I think my trust level was a little higher. Since I had ridden with Tom before, I knew what to expect and he was faithful again as a leader. We're supposed to go on ride number three next week.

One of the things that I have learned over the years as a follower of Jesus is that my trust (faith) in Him can increase as I see His faithfulness in my life. I can look back over the time since I began to follow Jesus and see the faithfulness of God.

Therefore, when new opportunities arise for me to place my trust/faith in God, sometimes it is easier - because God has been faithful in the past, I know He will be faithful in the present and the future. Since I am human, I don't always cling to that truth and can become anxious and focused on the challenge instead of focusing on God.

This past weekend (October 10 and 11) it was announced to my church where I have been on staff for just over three years that I was going on permanent disability and will no longer be working on our ministry staff at Lakeside church.

It was a hard, but relatively easy, decision for me to make. It was hard because I loved working at Lakeside. A wonderful staff team, incredible vision of service, and tremendous people who make up our church. I had the opportunity to use my gifts and talents in some neat ways.

It was a relatively easy decision in that my brain is still having its challenges - memory, processing, multi-tasking, impatience, frustration, and being overwhelmed are some of the challenges with my brain injury. Though physically I feel well, I knew I was not ready to return to work now and I am uncertain at what point in time I may be ready.

It was a wise decision for me as I can work on some recovery things. I will also look into volunteer opportunities. It is possible that I will have the opportunity to work with an organization or two to speak to people about drinking, driving and distractions.

How do I feel? I am sad and working through this loss. I am also at peace, because I believe that this is God's direction for my life. I also believe that God does have a plan for my life. I may not know what that is today, but I know I can trust God with my today and with my future.

Faithful and trustworthy: that is who God is.

I will continue to live in California and attend Lakeside Church. I will continue to work on exercises to help my brain, reading, and doing some writing. And I will seek to continue to trust God and His leading and provision for my life.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


How would you define trust? In Random House Webster's Dictionary it states: "Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing: confidence."

A friend recently told me that he would be willing to ride a tandem bike with me, but he asked me if I "trusted him" Hmmm, I thought, yes, I trust you. I wasn't sure why that was important.

On Friday of this past week, I had a new opportunity to trust. Tom is the physical therapist I am working with to help give me strength and conditioning to ride a bike again one day. Tom has been incredibly encouraging, insightful, and pushing me in new areas.

On Friday, Tom was set to take me out on a bicycle. There are a couple of important factors here: one, I haven't rode a bicycle since my accident on June 18, 2008. The second thing was that this bicycle was a tandem bicycle - two people riding on the same bike at the same time. I hadn't been on a tandem bike before.

Tom explained what we would do and how t
o do it. He said that he would be communicating to me along the way - everything from when and which way we would turn, where I should position my pedals, when we would be hitting a bump, and when he would be shifting gears.

Since I was on the back seat, an interesting situation arose. All I could see in front of me was Tom's back! I couldn't see where we were going or what was in front of us. I had to trust Tom.

Since I have been working with Tom over a number of weeks now, what I knew about Tom was very positive. He knows what he is doing, he is compassionate, he cares about the progress I am making, and he knows that things like this can be a challenge for me.

We began our bike adventure in the parking lot, which enabled me to get used to this new bike. Tom went at an easy speed, he communicated along the way, and he was sensitive to how I was doing. A few minutes in the parking lot, then off to the streets that were nearby.

Honestly, I was very nervous at first. I held very tightly to my handlebars. As we were making our way around the lot though, eventually my nervousness began to reside a bit. Then we hit the streets!

The morning was sunny, cool and a light breeze was blowing. It felt really good. I really enjoyed being on a bicycle again! While on the road again, there was a little traffic, but I wasn't scared by it. There were a couple of times when a car would be approaching behind us, but it didn't make me nervous. That is huge, because I was hit from behind by a care while riding a bike. I wasn't sure how I'd react to a care being behind us. (We were in the bicycle land on the side of the road.)

Tom was a trustworthy leader. He had integrity (he did exactly what he said he would do), he had the necessary strength and ability . . . I placed my confidence in Tom and it was well worth it. We'll be taking more rides on the tandem and because of my experience with Tom last week, I can trust him in the future.

God has given me plenty of new opportunities to trust Him. I wash I could say that I constantly and fully have trusted God each step of the way, but I haven't.

I have been scared, uncertain, and at times, anxious. I have needed to trust God with health, healing, provision of finances, my job, my well-being, my relationships and more. Each stop of the way though, God has been faithful, he has been trustworthy.

God is a God of integrity. He is the Promiser who keeps His promises! God has infinite strength and the ability to pass all abilities. There is none like Him. God is the Creator of the universe and rules over all. He communicate through His Word - the Bible - and is faithful in all He does.

I may not be able to see what is in front of me, but I know I have a faithful, capable and trustworthy Leader.

As I seek to live out this week ahead, there will be plenty of opportunities to trust God anew. Thought I don't know the plans that god has for me, He does, and I can TRUST HIM with those plans.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declare the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."