THE EYES HAVE IT

One of the things I tend to notice about people is their eyes. When someone has, what I think, are beautiful eyes that stands out to me.

The eyes can say a lot: there are looks of care, love, compassion, fear, anger, uncertainty, and more.

I imagine that Jesus had incredible eyes: love, forgiveness, compassion, mercy, grace, and so much more were most likely seen in His eyes.

Jesus also saw people. He would see the woman who needed to be healed in the midst of a crowd.

How do you think Jesus sees you? The same way that you see yourself? I believe that Jesus sees us with the same eyes and perspective that He saw people when He walked on earth.

I'm glad that God and I don't see myself the same way. I tend to see myself in a critical light; as one who keeps making mistakes; I see my shortcomings; as well, I see myself too often as unloveable -- among other things.

I am seen with love, forgiveness, grace, compassion, and with my frailties and imperfections in sight, but I am seen through the blood of Jesus.

I want to see as Jesus sees, not only myself, but how He sees others. He sees them as sheep without a shepherd, with unconditional love, in need of forgiveness and grace.

Thanks Jesus for how You see and the fact that You do see us and what we are going through. You not only see us, but You walk with us in the midst of it all.

What do you want to do when you grow up?

What do you want to do when you turn 50? That is an interesting, yet silly sounding, question. On Monday, May 17 I got to join the "50 Club." When I was younger, I don't think I thought a lot about turning 50, other then it sounded pretty old.

My perspective on the age of 50 has definitely changed. I'm not sure how 50 is suppose to feel, but I don't think I feel 50. I'm not exactly sure if I had any idea of what I would be doing with my life at age 50, but I don't think it was that I would be recovering from a brain injury -- let alone not having a job.

I guess at this point in time I get to pray, dream, and find out what the next step(s) are for me. I have begun to do some volunteering at the hospital where I was a patient. I am working with a group that communicates to teenagers about the potential consequences that go along with risky behavior choices and driving. I am considering doing some writing and I met with an author yesterday who gave me wonderful encouragement and helpful tips. I have also been back on a bicycle (tandem up to this point) but I hope to be able to ride solo again.

I know of a saying that goes: "I may not know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future." I am grateful that God knows my future and holds my future in His loving hands. I may not know the future, but I will walk by faith in a Trustworthy God every day.

Mom Memories

As today is Mother's Day, 2010 and my mom passes away 13 years ago, I thought I would share a couple things I remember about my mom.

Mom and I had our challenging moments. No, I wasn't the perfect daughter nor was she the perfect mom: because none of us are perfect. The challenging moments were not fun, but we had plenty of fun moments. I used to tell her that she was one of the funniest people I knew. She also had an endearing laugh, so it would be great to hear that. Here are a couple of things that stand out in my mind:

Probably my most favorite memory of my mom, took place in the early 1990's. Mom had just walked through a few hard weeks of life. I invited my mom to attend a Billy Graham Crusade with me that was happening in a community near ours.

After Billy gave his messages, he would ask people to walk from their seats to the floor of the arena if they wanted to become a follower of Jesus. I had the privilege of walking with my mom as she chose to become a follower of Jesus.

What an experience and what hope that decision brought to her life. Mom is now in heaven with Jesus!

The second memory comes from when I ran my first 10k race. It took place in our hometown and the route would go past the apartment complex where my mom and I lived.

As I made the route and came upon the final third of the run, I made a turn that was taking me up a fairly long hill, as well as past our apartment. As I made the turn, there was my mom, cheering me on! Wow, how long had she been standing there and waiting for me? I don't remember, but it had to be awhile since I've never been a fast runner.

Seeing her there cheering me on was so encouraging and gave me a burst of energy for the final miles of the race.

Those are only a couple of memories, but they are special memories and ones that I am thankful to have. Moms are special people, though we may not always recognize the special moments at the time they happen.

I am grateful for the memories of my mom that I remember now and that I will remember in the days ahead.

BACK IN THE SADDLE -- Again!

Today I had a great opportunity to go on a bike again -- this time not on a tandem, but on a bike by myself. I stayed in the parking lot where Beretta Physical Therapy is located and rode around there.

My physical therapist, and tandem bike riding partner, Tom was helping me out. It was a tad nerve wracking as I now was responsible for the pedaling, the braking, and the turning. Tom had that all under control on the tandem.

There were a few times when I knew I should turn my bike to the left, but my brain didn't seem to want to engage with that thought -- but it did.

This was my first "practice run" and I've got a couple more appointments set up to practice some more. It still will take more riding before I get out there on my own completely, but these are some more wonderful steps in the right direction.

MORE TO CELEBRATE!

The Party Pardee bicycle ride was cause for great celebration, but I've been pondering other things in my life that are worth celebrating:

• That I am able to memorize Scripture: I Corinthians 13 and Matthew 5:3-10 (I just completed.)
• That I am more aware of my weak areas and beginning to make some adaptations.
• That God is my Heavenly Father.
• That Jesus is always with me and He loves me.
• That I am feeling better and stronger.
• That my brain seems to be healing more.
• That I have incredible support: family, friends, new friends, medical personnel.
• That I am feeling happier and more connected then I have been in quite awhile.

I am incredibly grateful for all that God has done in my life. It has been an interesting journey. God is faithful to guide me on this new path. He is in complete control. And He loves me with an Everlasting Love!

CELEBRATE: It was quite the ride!

On Saturday, April 3 I had the opportunity to ride in my first organized ride in over two years -- my first since my accident in June 2008.

My tandem bike riding partner, Tom, and I competed in Party Pardee. This is an organized ride set in Ione that is sponsored by the Sacramento Bike Hikers. Tom and I rode the 110k (65 mile) route. There were 1,200 others who signed up to compete in Party Pardee.

Tom was an incredible lead rider. He communicated well, he is a strong rider, he was aware of taking advantage of the rest stops and re-fueling our bodies with the right type and amount of food. He led our bike well.

The weather was cold, but there wasn’t rain or wind. By the end of the ride, the clouds were parting a bit and the sun was coming out.

It was exciting to be on such a ride again. For me, being there said so much of what God has done on my behalf: healing me physically, healing my brain, giving me the strength I needed, as well as providing someone like Tom to teach and model tandem bike riding to me.

The ride had plenty of rolling hills, as well as some pretty good sized hills. The surrounding countryside was beautiful. There were plenty of horses, cows, and goats grazing as we rode by. At one point a Far Side Cartoon crossed my mind.

It was really cool when other cyclists, who knew us, would yell out our name and cheer us on. The other really cool thing happened at the end of the ride:

As we rode to the gate we needed to enter, there were people lined up, and when they saw us they began to cheer. They were there to celebrate with us. After we got off our bike, then someone brought out the champagne. There was also a cake donated by Babycakes Bakery (in Sacramento): German chocolate (my favorite), as well as nice words written on it and a red bicycle (that was the color of the new bike I was riding when I was hit by the car.)

It was a very cool celebration and I appreciated the thoughts of love, support, and others celebrating too. Many people have walked this journey with me, so I am glad that they got to celebrate too.

In the next day or two I will post some other things that I am celebrating. One of my big lessons on this journey is to celebrate the progress: no matter how "big or small" it may seem to us.

IT WAS QUITE THE PARTY!

Party Pardee was a 65 mile bike ride that my tandem riding partner, Tom, and I signed up to ride. It had been over two years since my last previous organized ride, as well as a lot of physical, mental, emotional healing, as well as healing of my brain injury.

For me to be on this bike at all was a miracle, as well that my brain has recovered as it has.

The ride included, besides Tom and me, about 1,200 other riders. Some of them were my teammates from the Bodacious Biking Babes and Team Revolutions. As Tom and I were riding and people passed by on their bikes, they would call out our names. That was so cool.

It was a long ride, but beautiful. We were blessed to have no rain or wind. It was cold and cloudy, but towards the end of our ride, the clouds parted and the sun began to shine.

When we rode to the finish, there were people waiting for us: cheering us as we crossed the line. Champagne began to flow and the celebration was on. One baker from Babycakes Bakery made a delicious german chocolate cake.

The welcome and reception was incredible. I was overwhelmed, but incredibly blessed.

I guess Party Pardee was a good name of the ride, because that is what I felt like doing -- if I hadn't been so tired. There are incredible memories from this day and this ride. My heart is tremendously grateful for all God has done and the people He used to make this all happen.

Was this the ride of a lifetime? I think if may have been!