HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010 is upon us -- 2009 behind us! Beginning a new year seems to bring us to points of reflection, as well as looking ahead and envisioning what might lie ahead. Here I go:

Reflection: Much of my year (especially the early months) is kind of fuzzy to remember, but there is so much to be thankful for, including:

GOD'S love, care, healing, and all that He has provided;

MY FAMILY: though they live in Washington State, they were connected, helpful, loving, and involved as much as possible;

MY "FOLSOM FAMILY" who have been incredible demonstrators of love, care, grace, and so much more;

FRIENDS: ones which I have had for years, but also the opportunity to meet new people and develop new friendships;

REHABILITATION: from physical, occupational, and speech my rehab specialists did an incredible job in helping me with my recovery;

TO PARTICIPATE AGAIN IN: the driving of my car, to ride a bicycle, and to help lead a Bible study small group through my church;

GOING TO DISNEYLAND: for the first time in about 20 years or so;

GOING TO WASHINGTON STATE for Christmas and spend a week with my sister's family and to see my brother;

MY FINAL BIKE RIDE OF 2009 was for 22 miles!

I have heard from multiple people at multiple times that I am a miracle. It has been hard for me to comprehend that statement, but I have been finally coming to grasp that fact.

The reality that I am walking, talking, feeding and caring for myself, driving a car, riding a bicycle, and traveling are incredible demonstrations of God's miraculous work in my life.

Those are incredible truths to remember from 2009. Come back in a few days and I will be sharing some of my dreams and goals for 2010.

While You Were Sleeping

After I awoke from my coma and began to comprehend and understand things a little better, and was eventually released from the hospital, I realized that much had changed around me - or there were at least some things I didn't (and still don't) remember.

I would ask a friend, "When did that building go up?" Her answer was most often "While you were sleeping." I heard that answer more than once.

Though our bodies and/or our minds might 'stand still,' the world does not. Things continue to move forward. Life doesn't necessarily wait around for us.

I was sitting in church one weekend and all the songs we sang seemed 'new' to me. Our church hired a new worship pastor. I didn't know if these were new songs that he introduced to us or if I just didn't remember them. I think it was a little of both. They are terrific songs, but it felt weird not knowing them. I didn't seem to engage as well as I had in the past.

At a recent service I realized that I knew all the songs! Some of the songs have been around a little while, but others were those that I had learned over the past few months.

3G Networks

Another thing that I have needed to find out about is all this 3G network stuff with mobile phones. What was that all about? I began to look on-line and found out that it has to do with higher speeds and performance, as well as easy access and high speed mobile broadband . . . something like that.

It still doesn't make much sense to me, but I began thinking that I have come up with a 3C Network!

3C Networks

What is a 3C Network you might ask? Well, for me, I became aware of this while learning to ride a tandem bicycle. There is at least 3 C's to be aware of:

CENTERED: Be centered was one of my first requirements. I wasn't supposed to lean to the right or the left, but to remain centered behind the lead rider, Tom. I would focus on the center of Tom's back and try to remain in that position, even as we turned corners. Having ridden a tandem bike with Tom four times now, that has gotten easier.

COMMUNICATION: Communication has been vital and Tom has been a terrific communicator. He will tell me where my pedals need to be positioned, when to pedal, when he is sifting gears, when and what way we are turning, when we're stopping and when we were going to go over a bump. He communicated very important things to me and it has made our rides that more more enjoyable.

CELEBRATION: Though I think there are C's that make a good ride on a tandem bicycle, my final C is celebration. Last week two of the women on my bicycling team brought their bikes and joined Tom and me on our ride. Our ride was the furthest we had gone. It was terrific to have my friends with me on the ride. They were very excited and celebrated with me being on a bike again.

One of my friends with us was Kathy. Kathy was the other woman who was hit by the same car I was. This was the first time we've ridden together since our accident in June 2008. It was a joyous celebration!

Those C's have something to do with higher speeds and performance. I have now ridden the furthest I have since my accident. It feels so good to be on a bicycle again.

Though I am thankful for Tom's leadership, I am extremely grateful to God for His healing, His grace, His love, and His care. As well, these 3 C's are important in the spiritual realm, too.

CENTERED: Keeping focused on God. Life has been a bit challenging at times for me and hasn't made a lot sense at times, but as I put my focus back on God and off my circumstances, it makes a world of difference.

COMMUNICATION: Prayer and reading the Bible are ways in which God and I communicate. Though God doesn't give all the answers, He does reassure me of His presence and that He does have a plan.

CELEBRATION: Worshipping God, celebrating Him, and focusing on all that He has done is an opportunity to honor God for who He is and what He has done. It also helps in keeping one centered and keeping those communication lines open.

While I was sleeping life went on. There are things that I am beginning to recognize and remember. It is a good journey to be able to be on.

Whether it is 3Gs or 3Cs, whether it is new songs or familiar songs, it is great to be awake and to be able to enjoy life - the new things and the familiar things.

Trust Part II

TRUSTING: THE NEXT STEP

Last week I blogged about how my first attempt at a bike ride in over a year, as well as it being a tandem bike I hadn't been on before, taught me a lot about trust. This week I trusted Tom again as he took me out on a tandem bike again.

The second ride was as fun as the first, but I think my trust level was a little higher. Since I had ridden with Tom before, I knew what to expect and he was faithful again as a leader. We're supposed to go on ride number three next week.

One of the things that I have learned over the years as a follower of Jesus is that my trust (faith) in Him can increase as I see His faithfulness in my life. I can look back over the time since I began to follow Jesus and see the faithfulness of God.

Therefore, when new opportunities arise for me to place my trust/faith in God, sometimes it is easier - because God has been faithful in the past, I know He will be faithful in the present and the future. Since I am human, I don't always cling to that truth and can become anxious and focused on the challenge instead of focusing on God.

TRUST NEXT STEPS

This past weekend (October 10 and 11) it was announced to my church where I have been on staff for just over three years that I was going on permanent disability and will no longer be working on our ministry staff at Lakeside church.

TRUST

It was a hard, but relatively easy, decision for me to make. It was hard because I loved working at Lakeside. A wonderful staff team, incredible vision of service, and tremendous people who make up our church. I had the opportunity to use my gifts and talents in some neat ways.

It was a relatively easy decision in that my brain is still having its challenges - memory, processing, multi-tasking, impatience, frustration, and being overwhelmed are some of the challenges with my brain injury. Though physically I feel well, I knew I was not ready to return to work now and I am uncertain at what point in time I may be ready.

It was a wise decision for me as I can work on some recovery things. I will also look into volunteer opportunities. It is possible that I will have the opportunity to work with an organization or two to speak to people about drinking, driving and distractions.

TRUST CAN LEAD TO PEACE

How do I feel? I am sad and working through this loss. I am also at peace, because I believe that this is God's direction for my life. I also believe that God does have a plan for my life. I may not know what that is today, but I know I can trust God with my today and with my future.

Faithful and trustworthy: that is who God is.

I will continue to live in California and attend Lakeside Church. I will continue to work on exercises to help my brain, reading, and doing some writing. And I will seek to continue to trust God and His leading and provision for my life.

Trust

How would you define trust? In Random House Webster's Dictionary it states: "Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing: confidence."

A friend recently told me that he would be willing to ride a tandem bike with me, but he asked me if I "trusted him" Hmmm, I thought, yes, I trust you. I wasn't sure why that was important.

TRUSTING TOM

On Friday of this past week, I had a new opportunity to trust. Tom is the physical therapist I am working with to help give me strength and conditioning to ride a bike again one day. Tom has been incredibly encouraging, insightful, and pushing me in new areas.

On Friday, Tom was set to take me out on a bicycle. There are a couple of important factors here: one, I haven't rode a bicycle since my accident on June 18, 2008. The second thing was that this bicycle was a tandem bicycle - two people riding on the same bike at the same time. I hadn't been on a tandem bike before.

Tom explained what we would do and how t

o do it. He said that he would be communicating to me along the way - everything from when and which way we would turn, where I should position my pedals, when we would be hitting a bump, and when he would be shifting gears.

Since I was on the back seat, an interesting situation arose. All I could see in front of me was Tom's back! I couldn't see where we were going or what was in front of us. I had to trust Tom.

Since I have been working with Tom over a number of weeks now, what I knew about Tom was very positive. He knows what he is doing, he is compassionate, he cares about the progress I am making, and he knows that things like this can be a challenge for me.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

We began our bike adventure in the parking lot, which enabled me to get used to this new bike. Tom went at an easy speed, he communicated along the way, and he was sensitive to how I was doing. A few minutes in the parking lot, then off to the streets that were nearby.

Honestly, I was very nervous at first. I held very tightly to my handlebars. As we were making our way around the lot though, eventually my nervousness began to reside a bit. Then we hit the streets!

The morning was sunny, cool and a light breeze was blowing. It felt really good. I really enjoyed being on a bicycle again! While on the road again, there was a little traffic, but I wasn't scared by it. There were a couple of times when a car would be approaching behind us, but it didn't make me nervous. That is huge, because I was hit from behind by a care while riding a bike. I wasn't sure how I'd react to a care being behind us. (We were in the bicycle land on the side of the road.)

Tom was a trustworthy leader. He had integrity (he did exactly what he said he would do), he had the necessary strength and ability . . . I placed my confidence in Tom and it was well worth it. We'll be taking more rides on the tandem and because of my experience with Tom last week, I can trust him in the future.

TRUSTING GOD

God has given me plenty of new opportunities to trust Him. I wash I could say that I constantly and fully have trusted God each step of the way, but I haven't.

I have been scared, uncertain, and at times, anxious. I have needed to trust God with health, healing, provision of finances, my job, my well-being, my relationships and more. Each stop of the way though, God has been faithful, he has been trustworthy.

God is a God of integrity. He is the Promiser who keeps His promises! God has infinite strength and the ability to pass all abilities. There is none like Him. God is the Creator of the universe and rules over all. He communicate through His Word - the Bible - and is faithful in all He does.

I may not be able to see what is in front of me, but I know I have a faithful, capable and trustworthy Leader.

As I seek to live out this week ahead, there will be plenty of opportunities to trust God anew. Thought I don't know the plans that god has for me, He does, and I can TRUST HIM with those plans.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declare the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The Proper Power Source

I have not been much of a techy-type or electronics person in my lifetime. There is one thing, though, that I pretty much know for certain: it is important to know and take advantage of the proper power source for an item.

Today I felt I hit the jackpot! There were a few items that I own that have been challenging me as of late. I wasn't able to use these items to their full capabilities. I was working my way through a container that held numerous, and not very clearly identified, electronic plug-ins. I began to look a little closer to discover that these gadgets were very likely the answer to my electronics challenges.

Sure enough, of three items that posed a challenge to me, all three are now working! The issue was that they were not adequately charged; they needed to be re-charged. I wasn't fully aware of the resources that were available to me and to my gadgets.

During my recovery, people have commented on how well I've been doing. To be honest, those comments often surprise me. On the inside I can be challenged by depression, discouragement, disillusionment and disappointment. Life right now is hard and has its challenges. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things for me to praise God for each day. He has blessed me, healed me, provided for me and more.

Also, God has been the Proper Power Source for me. As a follower of Jesus, God the Holy Spirit resides in my life. He gives me strength, endurance, perspective, guidance and more to live each day well, and to walk through the challenges of life. God is the One who enables me to have the strength and power I need. I'm am not sure how I could have made it this far without God and without His followers helping to care and support me.

Each day, and throughout some days, I pray and ask God to be in control of my life, to enable me to live so that I would honor Him, and to have strength to face what the day will hold for me. That is what gives me hope and perspective to live each day. I don't always do that well - I too often take back the control of my life that is better off in God's hands.

That is the Proper Power Source and One that I need to be connected to. If I'm not, just like my little electronic gadgets, my power source will be woefully inadequate and I will begin sounding like a worn down iPod.

How Is Spike?

Now some of you may ask, "Who is Spike?" Spike is my cat who I have had for ten years. I brought him home when he was about 12-weeks old. Spike is special for a number of reasons. Here they are:

• I decided to get a cat when my mom had decided to retire from work and move down to California with me for part of each year. My mom was born on the Oregon coast, so hot weather was not one of her favorite things, therefore that's why she would have been here for only part of each year. We talked about getting a cat. Since friends of mine had a cat who was pregnant, I put in a request for one of their kittens. That was the year my mom died. She never got to move to California or to meet Spike, but I know she would have liked him.
• Spike is part Manx (you know, those cats with no tails). Spike has a partial tail (his brother was born looking exactly like him, but Spike's sister had a full tail). I named Spike Spike because I felt that the other kitties in the neighborhood might tease him, so I gave him a tough boy name. He does live up to his name at times!
• Spike is quite the traveler and has settled in well in a few different places. I guess you could say he is able to adapt well. From Elk Grove, CA flying to Chicago, IL; living in Wheaton Il; driving to Seattle, WA from Wheaton; living at my brother-in-law and sister's home with two dogs and another cat, my nephew and niece; driving to Folsom, CA; living with some friends at their home in Elk Grove for awhile; moving into our apartment in El Dorado Hills; hanging out and holding "down the fort" in the apartment until his mommy came home from the hospital.

Spike has been a part of my life for a good while. He greets me at the door when I come home (unless he is trying to get out of the apartment for a while and tries to run outside). Though I don't consider myself a cat woman, I do enjoy my cat a lot.

The answer to the above question is that Spike is doing very well, though I think the heat has been a tad too much for him at times. I love that he hangs out with me and I think he really likes watching the Animal Planet channel with me. I do think he is really glad that his mommy is home now.

Adapting, a great quality for Spike to have, as well as for me. This past year-plus has been a year of adapting to changes and new ways of life. I wouldn't necessarily have chosen this path myself, but God has been with me each step of the way. There have been incredible blessings in the midst of walking through one of the most challenging times of my life (though I think the death of both of my parents were the most challenging).

If I didn't adapt, I would miss out on so much good and would have been whining about what I felt like I had lost. Sometimes losses give us the opportunity to experience new gains that we would not have experienced otherwise. yes, there is grieving in the losses, but there can be much celebrating in the new gains. It can take awhile to see the gains, but I believe they are there, though they may look different than what we're used to.

I appreciate the tremendous gifts God has given over this past year. Some of the gifts are yet "to be opened," so it will be an interesting journey along this path where God is leading.

Fear

Do you live in fear? I think I am coming to recognize that I have lived a good portion of my life in fear. Fearful or afraid of what? you might ask. I think I can identify some of the fears, but in all reality, I'm on a journey of discovery. Some of my known fears: of flying - actually it is of crashing; of rejection; of ridicule; of failing; even though I am a follower of Jesus and know where I am going when I die, I've been afraid of dying a good part of my life; and I have often been afraid of the unknown.

What good have these fears gotten me? Not much, actually. Fear tends to hinder me. I don't take initiative as much as I could. I don't try things I would like to. I even didn't fly on a plane - once. I almost didn't take a job that would required a lot of flying. I'm sure glad that I came to realize that wasn't a good enough reason not to take the job. I flew quite often, getting to see places I hadn't seen and meeting people I probably would have never met.

There has actually been some fear with this latest journey I am on - so much unknown for me. Will I physically recover fully from my accident? I don't know. Will my brain fully recover? Another unknown. Will I have my job back and be able to function adequately? Unknown. Financially will I be okay? Hmmm . . . Why do I fear? It can usually be connected with my lack of trust, a limited faith in a faithful God.

Every day you and I walk through lives filled with many unknowns. Yours may be different than mine, or they may be the same. But the coolest thing is that God does know - and He has the power and control of the future. God is capable, He is trustworthy, He cares, He loves, and He is all-knowing (just to name a few attributes).