God's Mowing Our Souls

Thank God that He "mows the lawn" of our souls; that He works to transform our souls, to develop us into the people He wants us to be: transforming us into the image of His Son.

Yesterday I witnessed a beautiful picture. A friend was mowing a portion of his lawn in the front yard of his home and he had his young grandson with him.

As he was walking and pushing the lawn mower with one hand, he was holding the hand of his grandson who was walking next to him.

It was a sweet picture of love, trust, and friendship. Plus the lawn was getting mowed! This man does a tremendous job in caring for his yard. It must have been even more fulfilling to do this with his grandson at his side.

God is holding our hand. He is with us, as we are walking through times of hardship, pruning, and transforming. He does not leave us, He remains with us.

The joy that must be found in God's heart to be with His child. Joy that is not found just in walking with us through the "mowing of our souls" times, but walking with us day by day, moment by moment.

The joy that was displayed by the grandson, may it be found in us as well. As we walk hand in hand with our Abba Father.

Beauty in the Place of Tragedy

Today I was driving along El Dorado Hills blvd. and there were some incredibly beautiful trees that have vibrants colors of red, orange, and yellow. they look awesome.

It was near the same spot just over two years ago that a friend and I were both hit by a car. We both sustained serious, life-threatening injuries.

As I drove by I was so grateful to see life and beauty, not just a place where tragedy struck. the drive caused me to praise and thank God for the life He has continued to give my friend Kathy and me.

Beauty is a much grander picture then tragedy. God does bring good out of bad and hard situations.

Progress Markers

Though I still struggle with "hiccups" in my recovery, there still is wonderful progress. Sometimes it can seem silly to me at some of the things I get excited about, but it is nice to get excited about some things. Here are a few of the progress markers I experienced this past week:
Leaving a message for a friend, I told her to call me, but I didn't tell her what it was about. She called the next morning and asked me why I called. I didn't write it down, but I was able to remember the reason for my call. PROGRESS!

Sudoku puzzles have been a fave of mine, but also have been part of my recovery. I completed four different levels of puzzles one morning, easy to hard. PROGRESS!

Crossword puzzles are another brain exercise for me. The other day I re-opened a crossword puzzle book and was able to answer some of the questions I hadn't been able to answer before. PROGRESS!

My car driving (and remembering how to get to places), re-learning to ride my bicycle and seeing continued PROGRESS in that area, and feeling mentally stronger are incredible PROGRESS markers. I thank God for all He has done, as well as the strength and courage that He gives me to keep moving forward.

I am slower in many areas, but I guess that isn't so bad, at least I am moving forward.
>PROGRESS -- PRAISE GOD!

What is the Gauge for Success?

From the day I became aware of my need for recovery from a brain injury, one of my main thoughts was getting back to my work at Lakeside Church. Would getting back to my work be the gauge for my success in my recovery?

When my brain began remembering things again - especially people's names -- was that the gauge for my success in my recovery?

When I began driving an automobile again (with utter enjoyment), was that the gauge for my success in my recovery?

When I began to desire to be back on a bicycle again, when I had the opportunity to learn to ride a tandem bicycle and my riding partner and I completed a 65 mile ride that was purely awesome! Was the tandem bicycle riding the gauge for my success in my recovery?

I have now completed three "solo" rides of various mileage (11 miles being the furthest post-injury) and I have three rides set on my calendar: is bicycle riding "solo" my gauge for success in my recovery?

The situations listed above I think have often been seen as points of success for me in my recovery: by me, as well as by others. But are they?

Not being able to return to my work at Lakeside Church did not happen, so does that mean recovery has not been successful? No, it has meant a new direction of ministry for me.

I do believe each of those things (and the many other things) I have experienced are gauges for something, but I am not sure if it is success. I have been thinking about this a lot and I think I have come up with my answer:

I think these things are gauges of PROGRESS and PROGRESS IS SUCCESS!

Progress may seem really big (like riding a bicycle again, like driving a car again, and like remembering more things), but they each have taken steps to get there. Progress is a lifelong process. We each, injury or not, make progress each day. We need to celebrate the progress and the steps that we successfully take.

Thanks to you all who have celebrated these steps of progress with me. You help keep me going, because sometimes the days are hard. I celebrate you too!

Adapting and Adjusting to Change

Change is tough sometimes, isn't it? We become comfortable, settled, familiar, pleased and a lot of other things when we live life.

As we recognize and commemorate the anniversary of 9-11, our country has gone through much change these past years as a result of a terrorist attack on our country.

MY CHANGE OPPS

When my parents passed away: my dad in 1979 and my mom in 1999, there needed to be tremendous adapting and adjusting to the changes to my family.

As I have had the opportunity to work within Christian ministry positions, sometimes requiring to move to a different state, there was the need to adapt and adjust to the changes my life experienced and places that I lived: Chicagoland, Seattle, and California are different places.

When I sustained life threatening and life changing injuries as a result of being hit by a car, there has been, and continues to be, the need to adapt and adjust to the changes my life has (and continues to) experience. Sometimes it is hard and frustrating. Sometimes it has felt like I am learning something again for the very first time.

Having gone on permanent disability, I have needed to adapt and adjust to a life that does not (and likely will not) work at a job again. HUGE ADAPTATION AND ADJUSTING to that change.

Have all these changes been bad? No, but they required me to recognize that life was/is different: the differences required (and are requiring) adaptations and adjustments to be made. As God so often does, He works good out of challenging things that happen.

If I wouldn't adapt or adjust, life would be lived in the past and in much denial: neither being healthy. As well, I would miss out on the opportunities, growth, and all that God wants to give to me in the midst of the changes.

I am grateful that God gives us the power, the ability, the grace, and all that is needed to adapt and adjust to change.

The other very cool thing is that GOD NEVER CHANGES, so we will never have to adapt or adjust to that.

Dream a Little Dream

Throughout my lifetime, I have not always been a dreamer. Sure, I had plenty of dreams, but I am not sure they were thoughts that I took too seriously. As of late, as I have been wondering the next steps for my life, I have been encouraged about some possibilities I have been thinking about. Are they dreams? I think so, but they are so-called dreams that I believe can one day come out of my brain and be lived out.

The other morning I woke up in unique way for me: I was filled with joy, hope, expectation, and vision -- and that was before I even had a cup of coffee! It was an encouraging time for me. I am not what one would call a "morning person." I would like mornings if they were a little later in the day. I am not at my best at the earlier part of a day.

Over the past two years I have been wondering what is "next" for me. I needed to step down from my position as the Director of Women's Ministries at Lakeside Church as I went on full-time disability. In my early stages of recovery, that was not my game plan at all, as I planned on returning to Lakeside.

As life continued on I was able to see that was absolutely the right decision to make, though it had been a hard decision to make. I was also able to see that there was still time needed if I was going to work at any job at all. My recovery from my brain injury still had much healing to go.

Thankfully I didn't just hide in my apartment and feel sorry for myself. There have been plenty of moments that I have felt sorry for myself, but I was not going to give up: continuing to cultivate my relationship with God; staying connected with family and friends; volunteering; beginning to learn to ride my bicycle again; meeting with my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) support group; and meeting with a counselor have been some of the things that have been very important to me.

But what was "next" for me?

I have been doing some writing, as I hope to one day share my story on the written page. I have begun interviewing family and friends. It has been helpful for me in numerous ways, but I also see that it is helping me fill in some blanks.

There is about a three month period surrounding the injuries I sustained which I do not remember. As I speak with family, friends, medical personnel, as well as read some of the blog entries that were written, a picture is developing.

Though it is sad, hard, amazing, and miraculous of what I have gone through, I appreciate the clarity and the answers that are coming my way.

Is writing what is next? I think writing is included, but that is not all. The primary area of focus I believe God is leading me is that of helping, encouraging, and supporting brain injury survivors.

God has saved my life in a miraculous way and He has been enabling me to heal and recover in a miraculous capacity as well.

The number of people who suffer TBI's in the United States per year is staggering: approximately 1.7 million people! TBI's are a horrendous injury and there are a lot of us walking around recovering from one.

Before I sustained a TBI, I don't believe I had heard of it before. Now that I have, my eyes and ears have been opened to an incredible need. In fact, within my own extended family, there are at least six of us who have sustained some sort of traumatic or acquired brain injury.

My desire is to help raise awareness and even money for recovery, therapy, and other needs and expenses.

How will that look? Well, I'm still dreaming in that area, but will share one day soon a couple of areas. This I will share:

• I am part of a trio of people: we've each sustained brain injuries in some capacity, who are beginning a small group this fall at Lakeside Church for brain injury survivors and caregivers.
• I volunteer at Mercy General Hospital in the Acute Rehab Dept. (where I was a patient.) I get to help those who helped me who are now helping other survivors.
• With writing, I want to continue to get the word out about brain injuries and other traumatic injuries to extend hope, love, encouragement, care, and resources.
• I will be volunteering to help local events take place to communicate the reality and needs for brain injury survivors.

I would appreciate your prayers as I continue to seek God for His plans and purposes for me.

I am extremely encouraged and thankful for the direction I believe God is leading me and the dreams He is giving me to dream.

I will keep you updated on the process and progress.

A NEW GROUP

People often ask me what I am doing. My life prior to being hit by a car, life was moving right along and I was busy -- doing stuff. Now with not having a job, my days have opened up a bit. I have been asking God what He wants me to do. Besides God wanting me to continue to cultivate my relationship with Him, I think that God wants me to help other brain injury survivors. Therefore, that is what I am seeking to do.

Volunteering at Mercy General in the Acute Rehab Dept. is providing some of that opportunity. I am envisioning a couple of other things down the road too. One of the new opps for me is to help develop a small group/support group for brain injury survivors.

I am working with two friends and we will begin this group in September at Lakeside Church. Each of the three of us have sustained a brain injury in some capacity. We all know the value and importance of being connected with others who have some of the same challenges, victories, and such. We do not walk alone along this journey!

Wednesday, September 1 we will be holding a reception at Lakeside Church (room 216) in Folsom (from 7-9pm) to share the heart, vision, and motivation for this group. We will have refreshments, share stories, a guest speaker and what our group will entail.

If you are a brain injury survivor, are the family member of a brain injury survivor, are the caretaker of a survivor, or would just like to find out what this is all about -- then please join us.

You may have sustained a brain injury from an external force/accident, have suffered a stroke, have M.S., have suffered concussions, or any other situation that has impacted your brain -- then this group is for you.

We will be trying in multiple ways to get the word out about this group, but if you or someone you know could possibly benefit, please come and bring others with you.

On Wednesday, Sept. 15 @ 7pm the small group will officially begin. Our evening will also communicate what our group time will include.

Did I ever think that I would be helping brain injury survivors? Nope! But God has a way of bringing good out of hard and difficult situations. I am very grateful for this opportunity to serve in this capacity.