Some days my stomach felt like there was a "pit" in it; a heaviness. I know I've been struggling with depression and there were days - that is how I felt internally - depressed.
My doctor and therapy appointments were good - I was progressing! But why was I feeling so empty inside?
The last couple of appointments have been different. I left them with a greater sense of hope and expectancy.
Throughout this journey, I know I've had hope: God's hope and His presence, His provision and His care. I am - and have been - completely in His hands.
NOT that my doctors and therapists have been hopeless - because they haven't been. They've been supportive, encouraging and helpful. BUT the last couple of appointments I have felt hope had been extended to me. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and no - it is not a train.
There is talk about and a process to getting back to work; to driving again; and even to riding a bike again.
I did believe I was going to be able to do these things again, but in some ways I think I was beginning to doubt those possibilities.
What am I feeling inside of me this morning? I am feeling hope, happiness, peace, satisfaction, gratefulness and joy.
One of my favorite recording artists is Chris Tomlin. I appreciate the words of his songs. This weekend I have designated as "Chris Tomlin Weekend." I am predominantly, if not completely, listening to his music. I am also memorizing a group of verses from the Scriptures: Psalm 37:1-8. I have memorized up to verse 6. Not bad for someone who had a major brain injury and has struggles with memory issues.
3 comments:
Kathy,
Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable with us readers. I have to tell you that I think of you daily and pray for you the same!
I know that God is continuing to work miracles with you. Your story is amazing and testimonial to so many!
For the record, I try and try to memorize scripture and just can't do it. My excuse is that God has blessed me with too many children!
Way to go Kathi!
Kathy,
I thank God that he has kept you here with us and that your journey has been a good testimony for us all. Chris and I have been following your progress and prayed so hard when we first heard the news. You are such a wonderful woman and I thank you for your friendship! Though we're here in Oregon our thoughts and prayers of you are always close by.
I'm glad we had our silly moments at last years women's retreat before I had to move. I can't wait to see you again the next time we go to CA, we love you dearly!!!
Love,
Marcia & Chris
Dear Kathi,
Thank you for all you share with us on your blog. I am not sure if any doctor has even told you but it is VERY common (98% in fact) for trauma injury patients to suffer from depression. Besides all you are going through makes it perfectly understandable. I am so happy God is bringing you hope.
I am not sure if you know I do a blog too. My blog is more thoughts from my journey in life. You can find it at: http://hoovstirsjourney.blogspot.com/ if you are interested. I really want to write things that will encourage and bless others.
Please know I love you my friend! I am continuing to pray for you and cheering you on!
Be blessed! HUGS to you!
~Laurie
Post a Comment