Trust

How would you define trust? In Random House Webster's Dictionary it states: "Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing: confidence."

A friend recently told me that he would be willing to ride a tandem bike with me, but he asked me if I "trusted him" Hmmm, I thought, yes, I trust you. I wasn't sure why that was important.

TRUSTING TOM

On Friday of this past week, I had a new opportunity to trust. Tom is the physical therapist I am working with to help give me strength and conditioning to ride a bike again one day. Tom has been incredibly encouraging, insightful, and pushing me in new areas.

On Friday, Tom was set to take me out on a bicycle. There are a couple of important factors here: one, I haven't rode a bicycle since my accident on June 18, 2008. The second thing was that this bicycle was a tandem bicycle - two people riding on the same bike at the same time. I hadn't been on a tandem bike before.

Tom explained what we would do and how t

o do it. He said that he would be communicating to me along the way - everything from when and which way we would turn, where I should position my pedals, when we would be hitting a bump, and when he would be shifting gears.

Since I was on the back seat, an interesting situation arose. All I could see in front of me was Tom's back! I couldn't see where we were going or what was in front of us. I had to trust Tom.

Since I have been working with Tom over a number of weeks now, what I knew about Tom was very positive. He knows what he is doing, he is compassionate, he cares about the progress I am making, and he knows that things like this can be a challenge for me.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

We began our bike adventure in the parking lot, which enabled me to get used to this new bike. Tom went at an easy speed, he communicated along the way, and he was sensitive to how I was doing. A few minutes in the parking lot, then off to the streets that were nearby.

Honestly, I was very nervous at first. I held very tightly to my handlebars. As we were making our way around the lot though, eventually my nervousness began to reside a bit. Then we hit the streets!

The morning was sunny, cool and a light breeze was blowing. It felt really good. I really enjoyed being on a bicycle again! While on the road again, there was a little traffic, but I wasn't scared by it. There were a couple of times when a car would be approaching behind us, but it didn't make me nervous. That is huge, because I was hit from behind by a care while riding a bike. I wasn't sure how I'd react to a care being behind us. (We were in the bicycle land on the side of the road.)

Tom was a trustworthy leader. He had integrity (he did exactly what he said he would do), he had the necessary strength and ability . . . I placed my confidence in Tom and it was well worth it. We'll be taking more rides on the tandem and because of my experience with Tom last week, I can trust him in the future.

TRUSTING GOD

God has given me plenty of new opportunities to trust Him. I wash I could say that I constantly and fully have trusted God each step of the way, but I haven't.

I have been scared, uncertain, and at times, anxious. I have needed to trust God with health, healing, provision of finances, my job, my well-being, my relationships and more. Each stop of the way though, God has been faithful, he has been trustworthy.

God is a God of integrity. He is the Promiser who keeps His promises! God has infinite strength and the ability to pass all abilities. There is none like Him. God is the Creator of the universe and rules over all. He communicate through His Word - the Bible - and is faithful in all He does.

I may not be able to see what is in front of me, but I know I have a faithful, capable and trustworthy Leader.

As I seek to live out this week ahead, there will be plenty of opportunities to trust God anew. Thought I don't know the plans that god has for me, He does, and I can TRUST HIM with those plans.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declare the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The Proper Power Source

I have not been much of a techy-type or electronics person in my lifetime. There is one thing, though, that I pretty much know for certain: it is important to know and take advantage of the proper power source for an item.

Today I felt I hit the jackpot! There were a few items that I own that have been challenging me as of late. I wasn't able to use these items to their full capabilities. I was working my way through a container that held numerous, and not very clearly identified, electronic plug-ins. I began to look a little closer to discover that these gadgets were very likely the answer to my electronics challenges.

Sure enough, of three items that posed a challenge to me, all three are now working! The issue was that they were not adequately charged; they needed to be re-charged. I wasn't fully aware of the resources that were available to me and to my gadgets.

During my recovery, people have commented on how well I've been doing. To be honest, those comments often surprise me. On the inside I can be challenged by depression, discouragement, disillusionment and disappointment. Life right now is hard and has its challenges. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things for me to praise God for each day. He has blessed me, healed me, provided for me and more.

Also, God has been the Proper Power Source for me. As a follower of Jesus, God the Holy Spirit resides in my life. He gives me strength, endurance, perspective, guidance and more to live each day well, and to walk through the challenges of life. God is the One who enables me to have the strength and power I need. I'm am not sure how I could have made it this far without God and without His followers helping to care and support me.

Each day, and throughout some days, I pray and ask God to be in control of my life, to enable me to live so that I would honor Him, and to have strength to face what the day will hold for me. That is what gives me hope and perspective to live each day. I don't always do that well - I too often take back the control of my life that is better off in God's hands.

That is the Proper Power Source and One that I need to be connected to. If I'm not, just like my little electronic gadgets, my power source will be woefully inadequate and I will begin sounding like a worn down iPod.

How Is Spike?

Now some of you may ask, "Who is Spike?" Spike is my cat who I have had for ten years. I brought him home when he was about 12-weeks old. Spike is special for a number of reasons. Here they are:

• I decided to get a cat when my mom had decided to retire from work and move down to California with me for part of each year. My mom was born on the Oregon coast, so hot weather was not one of her favorite things, therefore that's why she would have been here for only part of each year. We talked about getting a cat. Since friends of mine had a cat who was pregnant, I put in a request for one of their kittens. That was the year my mom died. She never got to move to California or to meet Spike, but I know she would have liked him.
• Spike is part Manx (you know, those cats with no tails). Spike has a partial tail (his brother was born looking exactly like him, but Spike's sister had a full tail). I named Spike Spike because I felt that the other kitties in the neighborhood might tease him, so I gave him a tough boy name. He does live up to his name at times!
• Spike is quite the traveler and has settled in well in a few different places. I guess you could say he is able to adapt well. From Elk Grove, CA flying to Chicago, IL; living in Wheaton Il; driving to Seattle, WA from Wheaton; living at my brother-in-law and sister's home with two dogs and another cat, my nephew and niece; driving to Folsom, CA; living with some friends at their home in Elk Grove for awhile; moving into our apartment in El Dorado Hills; hanging out and holding "down the fort" in the apartment until his mommy came home from the hospital.

Spike has been a part of my life for a good while. He greets me at the door when I come home (unless he is trying to get out of the apartment for a while and tries to run outside). Though I don't consider myself a cat woman, I do enjoy my cat a lot.

The answer to the above question is that Spike is doing very well, though I think the heat has been a tad too much for him at times. I love that he hangs out with me and I think he really likes watching the Animal Planet channel with me. I do think he is really glad that his mommy is home now.

Adapting, a great quality for Spike to have, as well as for me. This past year-plus has been a year of adapting to changes and new ways of life. I wouldn't necessarily have chosen this path myself, but God has been with me each step of the way. There have been incredible blessings in the midst of walking through one of the most challenging times of my life (though I think the death of both of my parents were the most challenging).

If I didn't adapt, I would miss out on so much good and would have been whining about what I felt like I had lost. Sometimes losses give us the opportunity to experience new gains that we would not have experienced otherwise. yes, there is grieving in the losses, but there can be much celebrating in the new gains. It can take awhile to see the gains, but I believe they are there, though they may look different than what we're used to.

I appreciate the tremendous gifts God has given over this past year. Some of the gifts are yet "to be opened," so it will be an interesting journey along this path where God is leading.

Fear

Do you live in fear? I think I am coming to recognize that I have lived a good portion of my life in fear. Fearful or afraid of what? you might ask. I think I can identify some of the fears, but in all reality, I'm on a journey of discovery. Some of my known fears: of flying - actually it is of crashing; of rejection; of ridicule; of failing; even though I am a follower of Jesus and know where I am going when I die, I've been afraid of dying a good part of my life; and I have often been afraid of the unknown.

What good have these fears gotten me? Not much, actually. Fear tends to hinder me. I don't take initiative as much as I could. I don't try things I would like to. I even didn't fly on a plane - once. I almost didn't take a job that would required a lot of flying. I'm sure glad that I came to realize that wasn't a good enough reason not to take the job. I flew quite often, getting to see places I hadn't seen and meeting people I probably would have never met.

There has actually been some fear with this latest journey I am on - so much unknown for me. Will I physically recover fully from my accident? I don't know. Will my brain fully recover? Another unknown. Will I have my job back and be able to function adequately? Unknown. Financially will I be okay? Hmmm . . . Why do I fear? It can usually be connected with my lack of trust, a limited faith in a faithful God.

Every day you and I walk through lives filled with many unknowns. Yours may be different than mine, or they may be the same. But the coolest thing is that God does know - and He has the power and control of the future. God is capable, He is trustworthy, He cares, He loves, and He is all-knowing (just to name a few attributes).

Celebrating the Little Things

Yesterday I went for a swim in the pool at my apartment complex. This wasn't the first time I have been in a pool since my accident, but it had been a while. I had called a friend and left her a voice mail to let her know what I was doing. Later in the afternoon she called me and asked how my swim went. I don't think I sounded overly excited about the "five laps" that I had swam. Debby's response was different: "You swam five laps!" (There may have even been a 'congratulations' in there.)

Congratulations for swimming five laps?! Yes, because it is basically a miracle that I can swim at all. One of my therapists shared with me recently that I am comparing my recovery to 'before' my accident, not since my accident. Before my accident I, at times, could swim a mile - a few more laps than five! But, since my accident, my leg is healing and getting stronger and I am able to swim FIVE LAPS, as of yesterday . . . what will next week bring?

Earlier in my recovery I was told to celebrate the little things, because the little things represent healing and progress. Since I have been feeling better, I had forgotten those important words. When I couldn't (or can't) do something that I often could before my accident, I get disappointed and frustrated, instead of celebrating.

Debby, thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.

Do you have something to celebrate today? Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. Go for it!

Blessings,

Kathi

One In A Million!

On Monday I read an article by Lee Woodruff in Parade Magazine. Lee is the wife of Bob Woodruff, who was the anchor of ABC news. Bob suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) while covering a story in Iraq. I read a terrific book, In An Instant, by the Woodruffs regarding Bob's injury. I was encouraged by the book, as I, too, suffered a TBI a year ago.

In the article, it states that 1.4 million people in the USA suffer a brain injury every year. That does not include the over 300,000 veterans who have suffered TBI's in Iraq and Afghanastan. The article mentions some dramatic medical breakthroughs in this area. Praise God for the progress being made, as I am a recipient of the tremendous progress that has been made. My recovery is still in process, but the progress I have made is astounding. In fact, I am just beginning to grasp how serious my injury was and the incredible recovery I have been blessed with. God has been so good to me.

I am grateful for the doctors, nurses, therapists, and other medical personnel who have been used in my healing and recovery. I also have a tremendous friend network/community that has been an incredible blessing: taking care of me, watching out for me, cheering me on, and sticking with me. I know there have been times that I haven't acted like I needed help or have been a very good "recoverer." (If that is even a word.) But I am grateful.

Articles such as Lee's give me and the other TBI sufferers hope. It is a long journey and to know that progress continues to be made gives encouragement to keep pressing on. And thanks to all of you who are those encouragers to me and the other 1.4 million.

Blessings,

Kathi

The Prodigal God

I began reading an incredible book this week - "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller. If you haven't heard of it or read it, I'd encourage you to get yourself a copy. Dr. Keller is one of this year's speakers at the Leadership Summit, so it is good preparation material, if you're attending the conference. Plus, it is a good book!

You may or may not be familiar with the story/parable in the Bible regarding the prodigal son. Dr. Keller "uses one of the best-known Christian parables to reveal an unexpected message of hope and salvation." 

I've been encouraged, amazed, challenged and extended hope. It is a book that I needed to read.

God is a God of hope, of grace, of love, of truth, of forgiveness, of life-change . . . changing our lives from the inside out (though often using outside factors) to continue to transform our lives to be more like Jesus.

The accident that I am in recovery from is an "outside factor" that God is using to change my life. Just this morning, I think for the first time, in my prayers I thanked God for this accident. I haven't been thankful for this accident, because to me the results have been quite an inconvenience and pain (sometimes a literal pain). How can one be thankful for such a bad thing?

One can be thankful because God can, and does, bring good things out of bad situations. It is an opportunity to experience God's faithfulness to His promises: being in control, love, strength, grace, healing, provision, care, etc.

In my mind, things at times have seemed out of control and taking too long. God's timing is often different than our own. God often times has a different plan that is connected in the circumstances He has us walking through. God is a good and a loving God - that is WHO HE IS - therefore I can trust Him to be good and loving to me, even when it may not always look that way through my eyes. But if I look at these things through eyes of faith and God's words to me through the Scriptures, then I can obtain a much better perspective, an accurate perspective.

That doesn't mean it isn't hard or challenging, but throughout the process God is faithfully with us. He does not abandon His children. It enables us to represent Him to a world that is in desperate need of Him - to extend love, hope, grace and forgiveness.

In the early 1990's, my mother heard the message of the prodigal son through a speaker by the name of Billy Graham. I know my mom was familiar with the story, but that evening in particular, my mom responded to the message Dr. Graham shared, and she decided to become a follower of Jesus that evening. I don't remember the words Dr. Graham communicated, but that doesn't matter. The words were full of hope, grace and love to my mother who now is spending eternity with her Savior.